Poem: Making me a Grandma

I read this poem about being a grandma. It definitely sums up what it feels like. I don't know who composed it, but I liked it enough to pass it on.  If it's yours feel free to let me know in the comments.

“Making me a Grandma”

—The day you were born,

I thought my heart might burst.

I had loved before—

as a daughter,

as a wife,

as a mother—

but nothing prepared me for this love.

It is different.

It is softer,

but somehow stronger.

It is love without rush,

without the weight of doing everything right—

it is love that simply sits in the moment

and soaks it all in.

When I hold you,

I hold the years I’ve lived,

and the years that will outlive me.

I see the little girl your mother once was,

running barefoot through summer grass.

I see the man you might become,

kind-eyed and steady-hearted.

You are every answered prayer

I didn’t even know I had prayed.

You are proof that God’s goodness

doesn’t just visit once—

it lingers,

it blooms again,

it spills into the next generation.

In your giggles,

I hear the echo of my own childhood.

In your hugs,

I feel the strength of every hand that has held mine before.

And when you look at me with those eyes—

oh, those eyes—

I see the future

and the past

all at once.

Some people say grandchildren are the reward for growing old.

Maybe they are right.

But you are more than a reward—

you are a blessing so big

it swallows the word “blessing” whole.

And if the Lord lets me,

I will spend the rest of my days

telling you how much I love you,

praying over you while you sleep,

and thanking Him

over and over and over again

for making me a “Grandma.”

David Shattler

 On July 28, 2025 my step-brother David died of a heart attack leaving behind his beautiful wife of 6 years, Adriene Mickey Dodge Shattler.  David was larger than life and I will miss him terribly.  He leaves behind his only surviving brother, Ronald Shattler, Sr. and his son Tim and his wife Staci and his beautiful grandchildren, and many nieces, nephews, cousins and of course many friends.  We all loved him and may you rest in peace forever in our hearts David.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

 Today is another year without my dad.  This year I'm missing him a whole lot.  My dad was the only constant in my whole life.  He was always there for as long as I can remember.  The only parent that is.  I'm not referring to any other relatives, just my dad.  

My dad spoiled me and always made me feel special.  For as long as I can remember he would always bring me surprises, even when I lived with his parents while he was attending college.  My dad was a single parent.  My mother disappeared or left sometime when I was about 9-10 months old.  I say she abandoned me and my 3 year old brother,  but some say she left under mysterious circumstances. Perhaps we'll never know.

Anyway, it was my dad who was left with 2 young children and he did the best he could.  He worked 2 jobs to take care of us.  He waited 7 years for my mother and finally she was sort of declared dead or missing, so he remarried and we got a real baby brother.  I was a 7 year old girl and now I had a real baby doll, and me and my baby brother were inseparable until the divorce.  I still got to see my little brother who had to remain behind when my dad left with his two children in tow.  I was heartbroken, but excited at the same time because now I had four new children in the new family that we moved in with.  This family remained my family, even after another divorce, for my entire life.  A baby girl was added to this family, but unfortunately I never really got to know her because by that time I was married and then I moved to Kentucky.

I was told that my dad remarried yet again, but I never met that wife, and eventually years later my dad moved to Kentucky from California and remarried yet again.  My dad was a very hard worker and also a very handsome man.  He was a very good provider but unfortunately he never stayed around for very long, but he was my dad and I loved him very much.  

In this picture my dad is holding his first born grandson and kneeling next to him is Brian's dad,  James "Jimmy" Eals Hatcher. Brian's full name was James Brian Hatcher.

My dad's name was Thomas Diaz, but most people called him Tommy, but I called him Daddy.  My dad's parents were Pablo & Natalia Diaz.

Trouble? or am I just getting forgetful?

I wanted to share some pictures here but either I have forgotten how or things have changed here in my absence.  Either way now you just have to read what I say without pictures or illustrations.  Use your imagination.

Yesterday Rick mowed his property at Calico.  The grass was waist high because he hadn't mowed this year, not once.  He has been busy mowing my yard and his other property in Farristown, and that has kept him busy keeping the mowing and weed eating up between all this rain we've had.  We've had an unusually amount of rain this year so far and in fact it is raining again today.

Picture waist high grass.  The tall grass along the roadside kept winding around the weedeater head causing Rick to have to constantly stop to unwind the knotted up mess.  The weed eating suffice to say took much longer than expected.

While Rick was fighting with the tall grass and the weedeater I was bouncing around here and there taking pictures of beautiful wildflowers and a curious big salamander that was curious as to why I was invading his porch, and who or what I was.  The salamander wasn't a bit afraid of us.  He might have been a little cautious, but definitely he was not very afraid.  As Rick weedeated around the porch he threw debris on the salamander, but the little thing didn't budge, but surprisingly walked around and watched Rick.  When Rick was finished around the porch, the little thing climbed off the porch and went to inspect what Rick had done down below.  When he was finished with his inspection he climbed back up on the wooden porch and remained there while I tried to feed him a peanut butter cracker, which he didn't seem to like.

The next little critter that I saw was a tiny little field mouse who came from under the porch and made her way over to an old woodpile of rotten and seasoned out firewood.  Once she made her way back and forth under logs she disappeared.  I assumed that Rick had scared her out of the woodpile with the weedeater and mower and now was her chance to get back to her nest.  After that I never saw her again and we were there for 7 hours.

Rick was exhausted when he finished, and I got a bunch of cool pictures.

I did try to help Rick, but after 5 minutes the weedeater got too heavy for me.  I'm really out of shape. 

Giving Credit where Credit is Due

It's been a while since I've been here.  I've been spending lots of time with my youngest daughter, Suzanne and her husband Ray, and his mother Delores.  

Ever since Delores had her knee replacement surgery, Ray has taken on the cooking duties, and I have to admit that he is a great cook.  He experiments like my son Brian used to do with the taste of food and I have to compliment Ray for all the fine meals he has fixed for us.  He doesn't complain at all, he just gets right in the kitchen and begins his magic.  Delores has taught him well, although Ray adds his own touches and flavors to the food.  We all love Ray's cooking and I always look forward to eating meals there.  

When Delores cooks, and she has always prepared her meals from scratch, she always fixed a complete meal.  It was like Thanksgiving Dinner every time she cooked.  She didn't skimp a bit or cut any corners.  We had a full plate, complete with a main dish, two vegetables, bread and dessert.  Ray does the same thing.  There is no "instant or boxed meals" there, it's all homemade.

Ray sometimes experiments with desserts and cookies too. He finds recipes online and then tries them out.  I don't ever have to worry about Suzanne going hungry there. I feel like I'm eating healthy when I eat there, and in fact I have lost a couple of pounds eating right.  The one thing that I feel very guilty about, is that I never finish my drink, sometimes only taking a small sip out of a bottle of water and then leaving it sitting where I sat.  I always have good intentions of bringing it home with me, but I seen to always forget it there.  Next time I go back I'm drinking a small amount of iced tea from a glass so that I don't waste anything.  Suzanne always says that Ray makes the best iced tea anyway.  I know that I would finish it just as long as it is a small amount.

I only wish that Sharon lived close enough that I could hop in the car and be at her house in 5 minutes.  We could do so much together, all of us, but I know she loves being near her children just as much as I like being near mine.  

Brandon, Krystal and Ody don't live far, but I don't know exactly where they live or I'd go over there and visit and play with Ody once in a while.  I see Brandon on Facebook and am happy to see that he is close to Krystal's large family and that warms my heart, because I know just how much he misses his mom & dad.  I wish he still had them and it breaks my heart that he doesn't.  Megan & Zac are so lucky to still have their mom, even tho they recently lost their dad.  We should all feel blessed and thank God for the family that we still have.

I was checking out my new laptop, which isn't working very well, because I haven't gotten back to my grandson Zac to set it up for me.  I haven't tried to use it much since around Christmas.  Well anyway, I logged in and checked out Brian's memorial site and I got depressed. Losing Brian, Reva and Sandie just doesn't seem right to me.  They were all too young to leave so soon.  So instead of dwelling on something that I can't change, I decided to write not knowing what I would say, but as I wrote I made myself feel better talking about my family.

Things with Rick are very good too.  The happier that I am, the happier that he is too, and the nicer he is.  I'm seeing the truth for the first time.........It's me who has not been happy or satisfied and that projects my feelings at him, and not in a good way.  He has been so patient with me for ten years, or has tried his best to please me and I have been the one that has not accepted him completely until now.  I seem to have a 10 year trial period on everyone except for Jimmy.  Jimmy was so different and so nice.  He was one of a kind and that  sure didn't make things easier on Rick.

A couple of days ago Rick said that he wanted to buy me a ring for Valentine's Day.  He has always wanted to marry me and be closer to me, but I haven't let him.  I can't get married, but I can let him feel like my husband and I can tell him how much I love it when he brings me coffee in the mornings, fixes me breakfast and supper.  He washes all the dishes without complaining and he loves to make me laugh.  He does so many things for me that I don't give him credit for, and in the past all I have written about him are the times when we argue and yell at each other.  He's really a nice guy who loves me.  I always considered us as just good friends and I didn't ever understand how he expressed emotion until only recently.  Thinking back now, I can clearly see how he pursued me and how he got the mistaken notion that I cared about him in a special way.  I didn't know his courtship rituals then, and I didn't understand why he would sometimes call me and say the things he said on the phone.  I just thought he was weird and didn't give them another thought, but now I understand.  It took me 10 years, but as long as he is still here, it's not too late for me to give him all the credit he deserves.